Limericks

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Re: Limericks

Post by VickyS on Wed Jan 21, 2009 8:05 pm

Then, one day, a young doctor came by
The proboscis had just caught his eye
'My word!' the young woman said
"You nearly took off the poor chap's head!"
"We must get help, if we don't he will die!"


An ambulance came, they rushed him off

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Re: Limericks

Post by kidder on Wed Jan 21, 2009 10:33 pm

An ambulance came, they rushed him off
Paid for by BUPA, 'cos he was a toff

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Re: Limericks

Post by Guest on Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:59 am

An ambulance came, they rushed him off
Paid for by BUPA, 'cos he was a toff

But they just can't be trusted

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Re: Limericks

Post by kidder on Thu Jan 22, 2009 3:39 pm

An ambulance came, they rushed him off
Paid for by BUPA, 'cos he was a toff

But they just can't be trusted
The MD has got busted

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Re: Limericks

Post by Chas on Thu Jan 22, 2009 5:04 pm

An ambulance came, they rushed him off
Paid for by BUPA, 'cos he was a toff
But they just can't be trusted
The MD has got busted
After trying to do a "Madeoff"
:!:


With the funds, he had tried to elope

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Re: Limericks

Post by kidder on Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:18 pm

With the funds, he had tried to elope
But his looks didn't give him much scope

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Re: Limericks

Post by Guest on Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:14 pm

With the funds, he had tried to elope
But his looks didn't give him much scope

With a mug like old Thatcher

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Re: Limericks

Post by kidder on Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:59 pm

With the funds, he had tried to elope
But his looks didn't give him much scope

With a mug like old Thatcher
He couldn't detach her

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Re: Limericks

Post by Chas on Sat Jan 24, 2009 6:33 pm

With the funds, he had tried to elope
But his looks didn't give him much scope
With a mug like old Thatcher
He couldn't detach her
Phisog from his mind, the poor dope!



So he skidaddled with only five trillion

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Re: Limericks

Post by VickyS on Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:02 pm

So he skidaddled with only five trillion
And with him went a tall tanned Brazilian

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Re: Limericks

Post by kidder on Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:23 pm

So he skidaddled with only five trillion
And with him went a tall tanned Brazilian
With one hand on his hip

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Re: Limericks

Post by feathers on Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:32 pm

So he skidaddled with only five trillion
And with him went a tall tanned Brazilian
With one hand on his hip
And a stud through his lip

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Re: Limericks

Post by VickyS on Sun Jan 25, 2009 11:04 am

So he skidaddled with only five trillion
And with him went a tall tanned Brazilian
With one hand on his hip
And a stud through his lip
In a week he had spent half a billion


The cops they were soon on his trail

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Re: Limericks

Post by Guest on Sun Jan 25, 2009 3:20 pm

The cops they were soon on his trail
to find him they wouldn't dare fail

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Re: Limericks

Post by Chas on Sun Jan 25, 2009 7:57 pm

The cops they were soon on his trail
to find him they wouldn't dare fail
They must recover the dosh

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Re: Limericks

Post by Guest on Sun Jan 25, 2009 8:23 pm

The cops they were soon on his trail
to find him they wouldn't dare fail
They must recover the dosh
And the bottles of squash

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Re: Limericks

Post by feathers on Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:34 pm

The cops they were soon on his trail
to find him they wouldn't dare fail
They must recover the dosh
And the bottles of squash

That he'd bought in the Sainsbury's sale.


For he couldn't resist such a BOGOF

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Re: Limericks

Post by Guest on Mon Jan 26, 2009 4:43 pm

For he couldn't resist such a BOGOF
And he told all the police they could sod off

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Re: Limericks

Post by kidder on Mon Jan 26, 2009 5:28 pm

For he couldn't resist such a BOGOF
And he told all the police they could sod off
He had only two straws

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Re: Limericks

Post by Chas on Mon Jan 26, 2009 5:46 pm

For he couldn't resist such a BOGOF
And he told all the police they could sod off
He had only two straws
Tucked in the top of his draws

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Re: Limericks

Post by Guest on Tue Jan 27, 2009 9:50 am

For he couldn't resist such a BOGOF
And he told all the police they could sod off
He had only two straws
Tucked in the top of his draws
For the cocktail he'd bought off old Molotov

If pushed to the brink he would use it

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Re: Limericks

Post by Chas on Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:51 am

If pushed to the brink he would use it
If only he knew how to fuse it!

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Re: Limericks

Post by Guest on Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:40 pm

If pushed to the brink he would use it
If only he knew how to fuse it!
The instructions he'd lost

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Re: Limericks

Post by VickyS on Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:54 pm

If pushed to the brink he would use it
If only he knew how to fuse it!
The instructions he'd lost
So with all fingers crossed

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Re: Limericks

Post by Guest on Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:59 pm

If pushed to the brink he would use it
If only he knew how to fuse it!
The instructions he'd lost
So with all fingers crossed
He tapped with his foot lest he bruise it

But tapping it just didn't work right

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Re: Limericks

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