Limericks

I made a chilli the other week
An unusual one with potato & leek!

Roll on September is what I say
Although I do love "The Darling Buds of May"

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I made a chilli the other week
An unusual one with potato and leek
But when I added Wasabi

Roll on September is what I say
Although I do love " The Darling Buds of May "
I`ll be quaffing Retsina

I made chilli the other week
An unusual one with potato and leek
But when I added Wasabi
It tasted somewhat Rhubarby
And every orifice started to leak

( Just love that Rhubarby rhyme ! )

The horse I bet on just won the Gold Cup

Roll on September is what I say
Although I do love "The Darling Buds of May "
I`ll be quaffing Retsina
With my Great-Aunt Edwina
And waiting for someone to pay

My Grand-Daughter`s Birthday tomorrow

The horse I bet on just won the Gold Cup
You must think that your luck`s on the up
I studied the form

My Grand-Daughter`s birthday tomorrow
What`s her age, are we permitted to know ?
She`s fifteen ( going on thirty )

The horse I bet on just won the Gold Cup
You must think your luck`s on the up
I studied the form
Which went down a storm
And now some Champagne I will sup

Off to my Nature Reserve first thing in the morning



My Grand-Daughter`s birthday tomorrow
What`s her age, are we permitted to know ?
She`s fifteen ( going on thirty )
Hope she won`t get shirty
Sometimes I wish they didn`t have to grow

Just back from another lesson at College

Off to my Nature Reserve first thing in the morning
Out of bed then, before day is dawning
Need to find friends for all my pets

Just back from another lesson at College
Well done for improving your knowledge!!
It challenges his grey matter

Off to my Nature Reserve first thing in the morning
Out of bed then, before day is dawning
Need to find friends for all my pets
And a list of recommended vets

Just back from another lesson at College
Well done for improving your knowledge!!
It challenges his grey matter
And he likes a good old natter
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Off to my Nature Reserve first thing in the morning
Out of bed then,before day is dawning
Need to find friends for all my pets
And a list of recommended vets
Oh,so that`s why I can`t stop yawning

Saw the Aurora last night


Just back from another lesson at College
Well done for improving your knowledge
It challenges his grey matter
And he likes a good natter
If only it was less of a tollage

Going to the West End tomorrow

Saw the Aurora last night
An amazing display, what a sight!

Going to the West End tomorrow
À good suit and tie I must borrow
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Saw the Aurora last night
An amazing display, what a sight
You must have been lucky
I most certainly was, ducky

Going to the West End tomorrow
A good suit and tie I must borrow
We`ll take in a show
And book the front row

Saw the Aurora last night
An amazing display, what a sight!
You must have been lucky
I most certainly was, ducky
On the night, the lights were quite bright!

Going to the West End tomorrow
A good suit and tie I must borrow
We'll take in a show
And book the front row
And weep tears of joy and of sorrow...

I was so keen to see The Eclipse

...Each ticket costs over one hundred pounds  
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I was so keen to see The Eclipse
I organised several trips


....Each ticket costs over one hundred pounds
At those prices for divorce there`ll be grounds

I was so keen to see The Eclipse
I organised several trips
But the day was cloudy


....Each ticket costs over one hundred pounds
At those prices for divorce there`ll be ground
So I flogged them for profit

I was so keen to see The Eclipse
I organised several trips
But the day was cloudy
And my companions turned rowdy

...Each ticket cost over one hundred pounds
At those prices for divorce there'll be ground
So I flogged them for profit
The show, I'd gone off it,
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I was so keen to see The Eclipse
I organised several trips
But the day was cloudy
And my companions turned rowdy
I knew I shouldn`t have gone with those drips

Saw my first Swallow today


....Each ticket cost over one hundred pounds
At those prices for divorce there`ll be grounds
So I flogged them for profit
The show, I`d gone off it
`Cos it isn`t as good as it sounds


My wife`s been on the `phone for over two hours

Saw my first Swallow today
A sure sign that Spring's underway
They wheeled and they swooped

My wife`s been on the `phone for over two hours
Trying to order her sister some flowers
I thought,'What is taking so long' ?

Saw my first Swallow today
A sure sign that Spring`s underway
They wheeled and they swooped
And then looped and looped

My wife`s been on the `phone for over two hours
Trying to order her sister some flowers
I thought, " why is it taking so long" ?
I wouldn`t have minded , but the number was wrong

Saw my first Swallow today
A sure sign that Spring`s underway
They wheeled and they swooped
And then looped and looped
where to then who can say?

My wife`s been on the `phone for over two hours
Trying to order her sister some flowers
I thought, " why is it taking so long" ?
I wouldn`t have minded , but the number was wrong
She noticed not my glowers

Jeremy is history


Tiny Tot daffs are out in force

Jeremy is history
Why it took so long is a mystery

Tiny Tot daffs are out in force
Peeking out amid the Gorse