Limericks

This summer`s becoming a washout
I`ll have to go get some dosh out
To pay for a trip
On a lovely cruise ship
I`ll have to go to the bank with a cosh out

It`s nothing but repeats on tele

I wish I had done dental training
`cos my spending now would not need reining
I found out too late
I can`t get a rebate
And all of my hard earned is draining

I`ve just booked next September in Stoupa

It`s nothing but repeats on tele
According to my Auntie Nelly
Sp what's to be done?

I`ve just booked next September in Stoupa
I don't blame you...it's bound to be super
All sun, sand and sea

It`s nothing but repeats on tele
According to my Auntie Nelly
So what`s to be done ?
Let`s look elsewhere for our fun

I`ve just booked next September in Stoupa
I don`t blame you...it`s bound to be super
All sun,sand and sea
Staying in an Ouzerie

It is an unusual hobby
Being a look-a -like for Mr Blobby


Just make sure you drink plenty of water
You sound just like my oldest daughter

It is an unusual hobby
Being a look-a -like for Mr Blobby
In demand for church fetes
And guarding school gates

Just make sure you drink plenty of water
You sound just like my oldest daughter
Just two litres per day
Keeps the doctor away

It is an unusual hobby
Being a look-a- like for Mr Blobby
In demand for church fetes
And guarding school gates
Even though he can`t squeeze into the lobby

Going to Canterbury tomorrow


Just make sure you drink plenty of water
You sound just like my oldest daughter
Just two litres per day
Keeps the doctor away
And in the loo longer than I oughter

Shame it`s stopped raining, now I`ll have to cut the grass

Going to Canterbury tomorrow
Just for half a day, much to my sorrow
But I will look at some sights

Shame it`s stopped raining, now I`ll have to cut the grass
Need a new mower but I haven't got the brass
Will resort to some shears

Going to Canterbury tomorrow
Just for a half day, much to my sorrow
But I will look at some sights
And sample the delights
Of a Restaurant named after Zorro

Re-read some Tolkein today


Shame it`s stopped raining, now I`ll have to cut the grass
Need a new mower but I haven`t got the brass
Will resort to some shears
As I did in previous years
Which I borrowed from a man called Hugh Jarss

Need a new mobile `phone

Re-read some Tolkein today
It keeps degeneration of grey cells at bay


Need a new mobile `phone
Playing up is the old dog and bone

Re-read some Tolkein today
It keeps degeneration of grey cells at bay
And makes you think deeply
And you occasionally get weepy

Need a new mobile `phone
Playing up is the old dog and bone
Something state of the art
From the specialist mart

He comes to the rescue always
Thus brightening the nights and the days

I'd really like something by Elgar
For that will I have to look far?

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He comes to the rescue always
Thus brightening the nights and the days
On his dashing white charger
He looks so much larger

I'd really like something by Elgar
For that will I have to look far?
Google Land of Hope and Glory
It's always the same story

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Now that September's upon us
I've decided to take a trip on the bus

My favourite one is the Halle
And I also love watching a Ballet

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Now that September's upon us
I've decided to take a trip on the bus
With my best friend Lorraine
And her prize winning Great Dane

My favourite one is the Halle
And I also love watching a Ballet
At the Royal Albert Hall
Wearing my very best shawl

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