Limericks

The snow lay thick on the grass
Cold enough to freeze monkeys of brass
As the blizzard increased

I watched as the boat pulled away
And waved as it sailed `cross the bay
The sails were flapping

The snow lay thick on the grass
Cold enough to freeze monkeys of brass
As the blizzard increased
A huge fearsome beast
Sank his teeth right into my a***

I thought I knew just what to do

I watched as the boat pulled away
And waved as it sailed `cross the bay
The sails were flapping
Then I heard a loud tapping
And the crew all started to pray


When I ordered moussaka and chips

I thought I knew just what to do
So I grinned like Winnie the Pooh

When I ordered moussaka and chips
It came with a selection of dips
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I thought I knew just what to do
So I grinned like Winnie the Pooh
They brought me some honey
And lent me some money

When I ordered moussaka and chips
It came with a selection of dips
My favourite tzatsiki
To share with Weneki   
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I thought I knew just what to do
So I grinned like Winnie the Pooh
They brought me some honey
And lent me some money
So now I don`t have to queue

I waited all day in the rain


When I ordered Moussaka and chips
It came with a selection of dips
My favourite Tzatziki
To share with Weneki
And I was left to sort out the tips

The fish took the bait in one go

I waited all day in the rain
There wasn't any sign of a train

The fish took the bait in one go
At least it was bread, not my toe
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I waited all day in the rain
There wasn`t any sign of a train
Was it " leaves on the line" ?
Or recalcitrant kine

The fish took the bait in one go
At least it was bread, not my toe
It looked like a monster
And I could`ve ensconced `er

I was late for my job interview
I was on a short list of two


If he hadn`t shouted so loudly
I wouldn`t have shown off so proudly

I was late for my job interview
I was on a short list of two
Though I made an impression
I finished the session

If he hadn`t shouted so loudly
I wouldn`t have shown off so proudly
So despite a brave try
And with a tear in my eye

I was late for my job interview
I was on a short list of two
Though I made an impression
I finished the session
And made a mad dash for the loo

If he hadn`t shouted so loudly
I wouldn`t have shown off so proudly
So despite a brave try
And with a tear in my eye
I so knew I was beaten soundly

Can we have our next starter for 10 please Susie ?

Yes please Soos, new first lines are needed.

Please can we have some new first lines ?

I've sent Susie a little PM to see if she has any new first lines for us.....  

Sorry all, thought I had done this doh!!!!!

He fancied a week on the Broads





Her newly aquired skills were useless

He fancied a week on the Broads
Having heard that they`d won some awards
But the boat let in water


Her newly acquired skills were useless
She grew oranges that were quite juiceless
But the pips were enormous

He fancied a week on the Broads
Having heard that they`d won some awards
But the boat let in water
And half drowned his daughter


Her newly acquired skills were useless
She grew oranges that were quite juiceless
But the pips were enormous
But the skin was flawless

He fancied a week on the broads
Having heard that they`d won some awards
But the boat let in water
And half drowned his daughter
And ruined a new pair of cords

I left my new `phone on the train



Her newly acquired skills were useless
She grew Oranges that were quite juiceless
But the pips were enormous
But the skin was flawless
And it ended like "Strictly ", quite Bruceless

I slipped on a wet patch of leaves

I left my new `phone on the train
So I could not call my friend Jane

I slipped on a wet patch of leaves
As I walked my dog, he's called Jeeves
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