Limericks

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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Mon Apr 28, 2014 8:53 pm

But as soon as it entered his mouth
He knew it was produce from Louth

After that he was feeling much better
So he ate a Greek salad with Feta
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Re: Limericks

Post by feathers on Tue Apr 29, 2014 5:23 pm

But as soon as it entered his mouth
He knew it was produce from Louth
For it tasted quite sour



After that he was feeling much better
So he ate a Greek salad with Feta
And some chips on the side



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Re: Limericks

Post by Susie on Tue Apr 29, 2014 10:25 pm

But as soon as it entered his mouth
He knew it was produce from Louth
For it tasted quite sour
For more than an hour!!


After that he was feeling much better
So he ate a Greek salad with Feta
And some chips on the side
No retsina, he sighed

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Re: Limericks

Post by Weneki32 on Wed Apr 30, 2014 12:07 pm

But as soon as it entered his mouth
He knew it was produce from Louth
For it tasted quite sour
For more than an hour!!
Which was when a wind blew in from the south....

........He forgot the bad taste and limped home


After that he was feeling much better
So he ate a Greek salad with Feta
And some chips on the side
No retsina, he sighed
But then saw on the mat a strange letter.

A red envelope with stamps from abroad  

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Re: Limericks

Post by feathers on Thu May 01, 2014 4:23 pm

He forgot the bad taste and limped home
Where he spotted a new garden gnome


A red envelope with stamps from abroad
And the writing thereon struck a chord



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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Thu May 01, 2014 8:56 pm

He forgot the bad taste and limped home
Where he spotted a new garden gnome
With a rod in it`s hand

A red envelope with stamps from abroad
And the writing thereon struck a chord
He said "it`s from Mother "
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Re: Limericks

Post by Weneki32 on Thu May 01, 2014 10:19 pm

He forgot the bad taste and limped home
Where he spotted a new garden gnome
With a rod in its hand
And its head in the sand


A red envelope with stamps from abroad
And the writing thereon struck a chord
He said "it`s from Mother "
On hols - yet another!

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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Fri May 02, 2014 4:59 pm

He forgot the bad taste and limped home
Where he spotted a new garden gnome
With a rod in its hand
And its head in the sand
Or was it just buried in loam ?


There once was a lady called Mable



A red envelope with stamps from abroad
And the writing thereon struck a chord
He said "It`s from Mother "
On hols-yet another
She`s on an 18-20- Oh Gawd !

The `phone rang twice in the night
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Re: Limericks

Post by Susie on Tue May 06, 2014 10:39 pm

There once was a lady called Mable
Who often slept on the kitchen table


The `phone rang twice in the night
The awakening was such a fright



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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Wed May 07, 2014 4:12 pm

There once was a lady called Mabel
Who often slept on the kitchen table
She laid on a fork

The `phone rang twice in the night
The awakening was such a fright
I stumbled downstairs
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Re: Limericks

Post by Susie on Sun May 11, 2014 10:31 pm

There once was a lady called Mabel
Who often slept on the kitchen table
She laid on a fork
Then rolled on a cork

The `phone rang twice in the night
The awakening was such a fright
I stumbled downstairs
Gave the phone fierce glares


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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Mon May 12, 2014 4:51 pm

There once was a lady called Mabel
Who often slept on the kitchen table
She laid on a fork
Then rolled on a cork
And walked like she`d just left the stable

You`re never alone with a Strand


The `phone rang twice in the night
The awakening was such a fright
I stumbled downstairs
Gave the `phone fierce glares
And drank 3 bottles of Bud Lite

I ordered a Drambuie shandy
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Re: Limericks

Post by Weneki32 on Thu May 15, 2014 12:38 pm

You`re never alone with a Strand
But it's years since I gave up that brand



I ordered a Drambuie shandy
They'd sold out of my favourite brandy

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Last edited by Weneki32 on Thu May 15, 2014 12:39 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Added bold and italics.)
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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Thu May 15, 2014 8:09 pm

You`re never alone with a Strand
But it`s years since I gave up that brand
I now smoke a pipe


I ordered a Drambuie shandy
They`d sold out of my favourite brandy
So I downed it in one
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Re: Limericks

Post by Susie on Sun May 18, 2014 10:40 pm

You`re never alone with a Strand
But it`s years since I gave up that brand
I now smoke a pipe
Adorned with a stripe


I ordered a Drambuie shandy
They`d sold out of my favourite brandy
So I downed it in one
Oh what have I done?

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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Mon May 19, 2014 9:06 pm

You`re never alone with a Strand
But it`s years since I gave up that brand
I now smoke a pipe
Adorned with a stripe
But now even that`s been banned

I stopped as the clock struck thirteen


I ordered a Drambuie shandy
They`d sold out of my favourite brandy
So I downed it in one
Oh what have I done ?
Never mind though, I feel just dandy


As I leapt over a barbed wire fence
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Re: Limericks

Post by feathers on Mon May 19, 2014 11:45 pm


I stopped as the clock struck thirteen
T'was the weirdest thing I've ever seen


As I leapt over a barbed wire fence
Mother shouted "You should have more sense!"

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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Tue May 20, 2014 9:21 pm

I stopped as the clock struck thirteen
T`was the weirdest thing I`ve ever seen
It was totally Orwellian

As I leapt over a barbed wire fence
Mother shouted "You should have more sense "
You`ll ruin your chances
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Re: Limericks

Post by feathers on Tue May 20, 2014 11:26 pm

I stopped as the clock struck thirteen
T`was the weirdest thing I`ve ever seen
It was totally Orwellian
And quite Machiavellian


As I leapt over a barbed wire fence
Mother shouted "You should have more sense "
You`ll ruin your chances
Of making advances



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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Wed May 21, 2014 2:58 pm

I stopped as the clock struck thirteen
T`was the weirdest thing I`ve ever seen
It was totally Orwellian
And quite Machiavellian
Since Methusulah was a teen

I watched a rude film with a friend

As I leapt over a barbed wire fence
Mother shouted " You should have more sense "
You`ll ruin your chances
Of making advances
And girls will be in the past tense

The doctor said " I`ve got bad news "
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Re: Limericks

Post by Weneki32 on Thu May 22, 2014 10:45 am

I watched a rude film with a friend
I've seen it before, to the end


The doctor said " I`ve got bad news "
As he spoke he surveyed the long queues

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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Thu May 22, 2014 1:42 pm

I watched a rude film with a friend
I`ve seen it before to the end
So I took a cold shower


The doctor said " I`ve got bad news "
As he spoke he surveyed the long queues
"Go take off your clothes "
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Re: Limericks

Post by feathers on Sat May 24, 2014 10:46 pm

I watched a rude film with a friend
I`ve seen it before to the end
So I took a cold shower
And within an hour


The doctor said " I`ve got bad news "
As he spoke he surveyed the long queues
"Go take off your clothes
Then stand on tiptoes



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Re: Limericks

Post by grumpy granpa on Sun May 25, 2014 7:03 pm

I watched a rude film with a friend
I`ve seen it before to the end
So I took a cold shower
And within an hour
I noticed nothing that would actually offend


The snow lay thick on the grass


The doctor said " I`ve got bad news "
As he spoke he surveyed the long queues
Go take off your clothes
Then stand on tiptoes
It`s the only way to use NHS loos


I watched as the boat pulled away
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Re: Limericks

Post by feathers on Mon May 26, 2014 11:29 am

The snow lay thick on the grass
Cold enough to freeze monkeys of brass



I watched as the boat pulled away
And waved as it sailed 'cross the bay

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Re: Limericks

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