Limericks

It was minus five earlier this morning
An hour or so after the day started dawning
The windscreen was frozen
Even though I had chosen
A bright red windscreen awning

My cat is yelling to be fed


I`m off to the Dentist next week
A clean bill is what I seek
But with my ancient molars
And too many coca colas
Their condition is far from peak

What is your favourite meal?

My cat is yelling to be fed
If I don`t do it, It`ll end up dead

What is your favourite meal ?
Roast Hamster on a bed of plucked Teal

My cat is yelling to be fed
If I don't do it, it'll end up dead
It's inclined to be fussy
Now I've named him Gussie

What is your favourite meal?
Roast Hamster on a bed of plucked Teal
Mmmm...that sounds really yummy
- No! Bad for the tummy

____________________________

His favourite food is fresh salmon
Followed closely by some smoked boiled gammon

I think I'd prefer a nice salad
Trouble is no gammon left to be had

His favourite food is fresh salmon
Followed closely by some smoked boiled gammon
With a light mustard sauce

I think I`d prefer a nice salad
Trouble is no gammon left to be had
Try Mortadella instead

His favourite food is fresh salmon
Followed closely by some smoked boiled gammon
With a light mustard sauce
Not too spicy of course
Or his tum will be full of remorse

I think I`d prefer a nice salad
Trouble is no gammon left to be had
Try Mortadella instead
With a bit of brown bread
Might even start a new fad

The nights are getting lighter


Reported today that Greek Exit odds were 50/50

The nights are getting lighter
And my skin is a shade or two whiter


Reported today that Greek exit odds were 50/50
Better order some Drachmas pretty nifty

The nights are getting lighter
And my skin is a shade or two whiter
Not to worry, come summer
It will be a real hummer

Reported today that Greek exit odds were 50/50
Better order some Drachmas pretty nifty
But try not to panic
The banks will be manic

The nights are getting lighter
And my skin is a shade or two whiter
Not to worry, come summer
It will be a real hummer
And my belt will be a bit tighter

A real treat, I`m off to Asda today


Reported today that Greek exit odds were 50/50
Better order some Drachmas pretty nifty
But try not to panic
The Banks will be manic
And Arbitrage rates can be drifty ( is that a word ? )

Putting shelves up in the garage tomorrow

A real treat, I`m off to Asda today
They`re selling cheap whisky....hurray
But I only drink Ouzo


Putting shelves up in the garage tomorrow
Next door`s drill I am hoping to borrow
And with my lack of skill

A real treat, I`m off to Asda today
They`re selling cheap whisky....hurray
But I only drink Ouzo
Don't want to get sozzo


Putting shelves up in the garage tomorrow
Next door`s drill I am hoping to borrow
And with my lack of skill
Hopeless with a drill

After all then it looks just like milk
I`m sorry, but at that I must bilk

So I`ll stick to my hammer and nails
Just the job for us males

After all then it looks just like milk
I`m sorry, but at that I must bilk
Well that's my excuse
If I play fast and loose

So I`ll stick to my hammer and nails
Just the job for us males
Instead of the cooking
We'll just keep looking

After all then it looks just like milk
I`m sorry, but at that I must bilk
Well that`s my excuse
If I play fast and loose
Like everyone else of that ilk

Can`t imagine that Mrs Merkel will buckle


So I`ll stick to my hammer and nails
Just the job for us males
Instead of the cooking
We`ll just keep looking
And telling each other tall tales


There was a fox in the garden last night

Can't imagine that Mrs Merkel will buckle
Her shoes as she starts a small chuckle

There was a fox in the garden last night
Yet again, he gave me a fright

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Can`t imagine that Mrs Merkel will buckle
Her shoes as she starts a small chuckle
Whilst discussing the Grexit

There was a fox in the garden last night
Yet again, he gave me a fright
With that horrible screeching