Re: Limericks

by Chas Fri Nov 23, 2012 10:20 am

Oh! Why can't I just win the lottery?
To improve my life full of grottery!

Should I collect foreign coins instead?
And keep them under my bed?
They'd just gather dust
And get covered in rust
Not the best way of making my bread.

That's it! Perhaps I'll try baking

by Weneki32 Fri Nov 23, 2012 10:25 am

Oh! Why can't I just win the lottery?
To improve my life full of grottery!
I buy a ticket each week

That's it! Perhaps I'll try baking
I'm sure I'm a Chef in the making
_____________

Limericks - Page 30 11877

by feathers Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:36 pm

Oh! Why can't I just win the lottery?
To improve my life full of grottery!
I buy a ticket each week
My fortune to seek

That's it! Perhaps I'll try baking
I'm sure I'm a Chef in the making
Look out Mary Berry!

by Weneki32 Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:48 am

Oh! Why can't I just win the lottery?
To improve my life full of grottery!
I buy a ticket each week
My fortune to seek
In the meantime I'll sell hand made pottery!

That's it! Perhaps I'll try baking
I'm sure I'm a Chef in the making
Look out Mary Berry!.
While I cook I drink sherry

I'm a dab hand with a wheel and clay
_______________________________________

Limericks - Page 30 11877

by Chas Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:34 pm

I'm a dab hand with a wheel and clay
Born a Potter, O'mappy fut say . . . . . . . . Tr. "I am happy {for} to say"

That's it! Perhaps I'll try baking
I'm sure I'm a Chef in the making
Look out Mary Berry!.
While I cook I drink sherry
And to Hell with the care I was taking!

'Twill end as a kitchen disaster!

by Weneki32 Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:45 pm

I'm a dab hand with a wheel and clay
Born a Potter, O'mappy fut say . . . . . . . . Tr. "I am happy {for} to say"
I'll pedal and spin

'Twill end as a kitchen disaster!
A cut hand with a big blue plaster
____________________________

Limericks - Page 30 11877

by feathers Wed Dec 05, 2012 4:26 pm

I'm a dab hand with a wheel and clay
Born a Potter, O'mappy fut say . . . . . . . . Tr. "I am happy {for} to say"
I'll pedal and spin
And prizes I'll win

'Twill end as a kitchen disaster!
A cut hand with a big blue plaster
On the end of my finger

by Chas Thu Dec 06, 2012 11:33 am

I'm a dab hand with a wheel and clay
Born a Potter, O'mappy fut say . . . . . . . . Tr. "I am happy {for} to say"
I'll pedal and spin
And prizes I'll win
'Tho I'd prefer if the people would pay!

A man cannot live upon plaudits

'Twill end as a kitchen disaster!
A cut hand with a big blue plaster
On the end of my finger
It does hurt - it's a stinger!

by feathers Thu Dec 06, 2012 5:43 pm

A man cannot live upon plaudits
E'en though his good name he forfeits

'Twill end as a kitchen disaster!
A cut hand with a big blue plaster
On the end of my finger
It does hurt - it's a stinger!
But 'twill help it to get better faster.

One has to be careful with chefs' knives

by Chas Sat Dec 08, 2012 12:25 pm

A man cannot live upon plaudits
E'en though his good name he forfeits
Whether hero or blackguard

One has to be careful with chefs' knives
(The cause of most Sous losing their lives!)

by feathers Sat Dec 08, 2012 4:42 pm

A man cannot live upon plaudits
E'en though his good name he forfeits
Whether hero or blackguard
Or fresh-faced or haggard

One has to be careful with chefs' knives
(The cause of most Sous losing their lives!)
Head Chefs can be wicked

by Chas Sun Dec 09, 2012 12:33 pm

A man cannot live upon plaudits
E'en though his good name he forfeits
Whether hero or blackguard
Or fresh-faced or haggard
The tax-man takes all, after audit!

If you're talking about unearned income

One has to be careful with chefs' knives
(The cause of most Sous losing their lives!)
Head Chefs can be wicked
(Especially if prick-ed)

by Weneki32 Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:59 am

If you're talking about unearned income
I know a man who may have some

One has to be careful with chefs' knives
(The cause of most Sous losing their lives!)
Head Chefs can be wicked
(Especially if prick-ed)
They practise on poor cheese and chives!

The Christmas cake's iced and is ready
____________________________________

Limericks - Page 30 11877

by Guest Wed Dec 12, 2012 12:31 pm

If you're talking about unearned income
I know a man who may have some
His first name is Dave

The Christmas cake's iced and is ready
It was hard to hold my hand quite steady

by Chas Wed Dec 12, 2012 12:57 pm

If you're talking about unearned income
I know a man who may have some
His first name is Dave
He hides in his man-cave

The Christmas cake's iced and is ready
It was hard to hold my hand quite steady
I tried to write"Happy"

by Weneki32 Wed Dec 12, 2012 7:52 pm

If you're talking about unearned income
I know a man who may have some
His first name is Dave
He hides in his man-cave
With stashes of minces pies and rum!

One day, Dave decided to party

The Christmas cake's iced and is ready
It was hard to hold my hand quite steady
I tried to write "Happy"
Instead I wrote "Nappy"
_______________________

Limericks - Page 30 11877

by feathers Wed Dec 12, 2012 10:22 pm

One day, Dave decided to party
Along with his good old pal, Marty

The Christmas cake's iced and is ready
It was hard to hold my hand quite steady
I tried to write "Happy"
Instead I wrote "Nappy"
(We're calling the new baby Freddie).

Since his birth I've become quite obsessive

by Chas Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:22 pm

One day, Dave decided to party
Along with his good old pal, Marty
With truck-loads of booze

Since his birth I've become quite obsessive
(My counsellor says my behaviour's "regressive")

by feathers Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:35 pm

One day, Dave decided to party
Along with his good old pal, Marty
With truck-loads of booze
And his best blue suede shoes

Since his birth I've become quite obsessive
(My counsellor says my behaviour's "regressive")
Feeding bottles and bibs

by Chas Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:34 am

One day, Dave decided to party
Along with his good old pal, Marty
With truck-loads of booze
And his best blue suede shoes
His Dad saay "He looks a right smarty!"

"I've seen peacocks that looked more dowdy!"

Since his birth I've become quite obsessive
(My counsellor says my behaviour's "regressive")
Feeding bottles and bibs
And the Doctor Spock cribs

by Weneki32 Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:36 am

"I've seen peacocks that looked more dowdy!"
"And they were also far less rowdy"

Since his birth I've become quite obsessive
(My counsellor says my behaviour's "regressive")
Feeding bottles and bibs
And the Doctor Spock cribs
And of his bears, I am most possesive!

My favourite is Winnie The Pooh
___________________________

Limericks - Page 30 11877

by feathers Sun Dec 16, 2012 9:40 pm

I've seen peacocks that looked more dowdy!"
"And they were also far less rowdy"
Dave and Marty don't care

My favourite is Winnie The Pooh
And also there's Sooty and Soo

by Chas Mon Dec 17, 2012 1:51 pm

I've seen peacocks that looked more dowdy!"
"And they were also far less rowdy"
Dave and Marty don't care
As they prance about, bare

My favourite is Winnie The Pooh
And also there's Sooty and Soo,
Aloysius and Paddington

by Weneki32 Mon Dec 17, 2012 4:06 pm

I've seen peacocks that looked more dowdy!"
"And they were also far less rowdy"
Dave and Marty don't care
As they prance about, bare
With High Fives and a loud cry of "Howdy!"

They each pour a mug of mulled wine

My favourite is Winnie The Pooh
And also there's Sooty and Soo,
Aloysius and Paddington
And games made by Waddington
________________________________

Limericks - Page 30 11877

by feathers Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:24 pm

They each pour a mug of mulled wine
Both staggering, but still feeling fine

My favourite is Winnie The Pooh
And also there's Sooty and Soo,
Aloysius and Paddington
And games made by Waddington
So much for small children to do!

What on earth do you buy them for Christmas?

by Sponsored content