Daffy Duck

Daffy Duck on a dirty weekend calls reception & asks for condoms-receptionist asks "il put then on your bill?" he replies, dont be stupid il thuffocate

Ha ha!!

Nice one Richie!

I was climbing the stairs earlier when I thought to myself. . .'Why dont I just walk up them like I usually do'

And another nice one!

I just love these little jokes

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.


incoming

You been on the pop Richie

Dawnie wrote:You been on the pop Richie

I wish Dawn I am up at 0515hrs walking the old dog before walking the working dog for another 12hrs

Its a hard life Richie

I tried that thing today at the petrol station where you try and stop the pump bang on what you want to pay, but let it go a fraction too late and it stopped on £20.03."Bo**ocks" I shouted and walked into the shop to pay."Unlucky mate" smiled the attendant who saw what i'd done."Don't worry about the extra"."Cheers mate" I said as I handed him my tenner and walked off

Love it!!!!

The SunToday's Page 3 beauty is 17 year old Penny (36-24-36) from Newcastle. She says:"Sky were right to sack Andy Gray. It's wrong for men to leer at young girls."

Superb irony.

Thanks for that, Richie, it's put a smile on my face.

I was sat on deck when one of the other people on the yacht approached me."So what do you do?" he asked me."I'm a salesman." I replied."What do you sell?"I stared at him blankly for a few seconds then returned to my stitching.

Best one yet Richie

kidder wrote:Best one yet Richie

Glad you like it

My mate on face book post them I think they are great..

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I was really drunk yesterday and decided to go visit my local zoo.

As I stumbled around I saw a cage with a beautiful white lion pacing up and down.


I walked over and said "I've just came from a pub named after you" And the lion stopped pacing and said "You've been to a pub named Keith !!!!"

richie wrote:I was sat on deck when one of the other people on the yacht approached me."So what do you do?" he asked me."I'm a salesman." I replied."What do you sell?"I stared at him blankly for a few seconds then returned to my stitching.

Doh...I had to think about that one!

But it was worth it.

Keep 'em coming Richie!

Me too Vicky!

A good laugh!

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

My neighbour asked me if she could have a skip on my drive. I said, "Help yourself love, you can play bloody hopscotch if you like.

I was on the street and this guy waved at me. Then he came up to me and said, "sorry, I thought you were someone else".I said, "I am".

Good one Richie