Questions you can't answer

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard ?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Some good ones there Lilian.....makes you think doesn't it?

Made me fall about.

Lilian wrote: If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Although this sounds daft there is a simple and exact scientific answer (always knew that Physics degree would come in handy one day)

So does anyone know?

Does anyone want to call me "smartar*e"? - if so join the lengthening queue

stoupaduck wrote:

Lilian wrote: If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Although this sounds daft there is a simple and exact scientific answer (always knew that Physics degree would come in handy one day)

So does anyone know?

Does anyone want to call me "smartar*e"? - if so join the lengthening queue

Depends what measurement the 'zero' is in.

Indeed it does Dave, which gives away the solution - convert from "zero" to another temperature scale, work out twice as cold from there and then convert back again.

OK, smart - what's the answer in degrees Kelvin

I was worried for a minute - thought it said "degrees Kevin"

and assumin we start from 0 degrees C, approx 220 degrees K.

Tsk, tsk .... Absolute zero is defined as being precisely 0 K and −273.15 °C. Also, the triple point of water is defined as being precisely 273.16 K and 0.01 °C.

For everyday applications, it's very often convenient to use the Celsius scale, in which 0 °C corresponds to the temperature at which water freezes and 100 °C corresponds to the boiling point of water at sea level. In this scale a temperature difference of 1 degree is the same as a 1 K temperature difference, so the scale is essentially the same as the kelvin scale, but offset by the temperature at which water freezes (273.15 K). Thus the following equation can be used to convert from degrees Celsius to kelvins.


But, then, what do I, a humble chemist know of such things

Indeedy my chemical friend and my 220 degrees degrees K is a calculation of what is twice as cold as 0 degrees C.

Step 1: 0deg C = 32deg F
Step 2: assume twice as cold = 200% lower - gives - 32deg F
Step 3: Convert to K gives apprx 238deg K

OK I got it wrong first time wont be the first or last time as Chris keeps reminding me

PS do you think any of the others gives a t*ss at all and just think "what a pair of sad ol gits"

stoupaduck wrote:PS do you think any of the others gives a t*ss at all and just think "what a pair of sad ol gits"

Shame on you, John :!: They are all absolutely {ouch} riveted ...... now, how about doing the same for the Newton, Rømer, Réaumur, Rankine, Delisle, Leyden, Dalton, Wedgewood, Hales, Ducrest, Edinburgh and Florentine scales

We'll have them rolling in the aisles

Very good, you two

I'm so glad I'm a linguist!

Shoulda tried posting that lot on t'other place.

Chas! I'm afraid you missed out the most important scale of all - well at least to approximately half the human race............................................

The bathroom scale

feathers wrote:I'm so glad I'm a linguist!

When a student, many, many, many years ago I played in a cricket team, and (initially) I had no idea about the team name - "The Cunning Linguists"

I guess this is just another definition of absolute zero

Hmmmmm.......some of our pub quiz teams have names like that John.......you just have to hold your breath and say them very quickly! I couldn't possibly tell you what they are of course.

{Now what was that thread about "Thread Drift"?}

Back to my original point, John ....

What is twice as cold as zero Kelvin

I'm still trying to understand what the question is. I think I shall just give up.

What a pair of sad old gits

Chas wrote:{Now what was that thread about "Thread Drift"?}

Back to my original point, John ....

What is twice as cold as zero Kelvin

Doh! Not so much SOG as SOGGY

It helps if you remember what you said, which was,

Chas wrote:what's the answer in degrees Kelvin

which is not the same as "what is twice as cold as zero Kelvin" (Did I mention my PhD was in pedantry?); and twice as cold as zero Kelvin is a bit like twice infinity, or dividing by zero.

Anyone for an entropy discussion group? No thought not. What about :drinka:

kidder wrote:Shoulda tried posting that lot on t'other place.