A small zoo in Glasgow-Glasgow do not take offence

A small zoo in Glasgow acquired a very rare species
of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very
difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the
problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no
male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought
of Mason Boyne, a local lad & part-time worker responsible for
cleaning the animal cages.

Mason, like many Glasgow folk, had little sense but
possessed ample
ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo
Keeper thought
they might have a solution. Mason was approached
with a proposition.

Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for
£500 ? Mason showed
some interest, but said he would have to think the
matter over
carefully.

The following day, he announced that he would accept
their offer, but
only under four conditions:

1. "First", Mason said, "Ah'm no
gonnae kiss her on the lips." The
Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

2. "Second", he said, "Ye cannae never
tell naebody aboot this." The
Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

3. "Third", Mason said, "I want all
the weans raised as Rangers fans."
Once again it was agreed.

4. "And last of all", Mason stated,
"You got tae give me another week
to come up with the £500"

A cracker Vince.. It's the way you tell 'em

We East Coast Scots are much more refined!!!!!!!!!