Limericks

But Theresa`s the lady in charge
Oh but how I wish it was Farage

I think wildlife cameras are great
They show you stuff right on a plate

But Theresa`s the lady in charge
Oh but how I wish it was Farage
Well no doubt he`ll be back
When some backbone we lack

I think wildlife cameras are great
They show you stuff right on a plate
With such intimate views
Of Giraffe and Gnus

I wonder what this year will bring
I`m not expecting a thing


Sometimes for me it`s too gory
Even though it`s real true story

I wonder what this year will bring
I`m not expecting a thing
So are you content
With what life has sent?

Sometimes for me it`s too gory
Even though it`s real true story
Yes, it's life in the raw
And many a bloody paw

I wonder what this year will bring
I`m not expecting a thing
So are you content
With what life has sent ?
At my age I`m past worrying !

A giant Iceberg`s about to break free




Sometimes for me it`s too gory
Even though it`s a real true story
Yes , it`s life in the raw
And many a bloody paw
Is revealed in all of its glory


I just wish I could warm up

A giant Iceberg`s about to break free
So how will it affect you and me?
Not much I suspect I live quite high up

I just wish I could warm up
I recommend half a pint of whisky and ginger with hot water in a very large cup
She would not be standing after all that lot!

A giant iceberg`s about to break free
So how will it affect you and me ?
Not much I suspect, I live quite high up
Then you should be OK without bany back up
Or have to live in a tall tree



Where do you go to my lovely ?

I wish I could just warm up
I recommend half a pint of whisky and ginger with water in a very large cup
She would not be standing after all that lot !
But at least I would be feeling hot
But it`s the water that would make me throw up

Yet another transport strike

Where do you go to my lovely ?
That takes me back to the summer of 1963 ('69 actually, but that doesn't rhyme )

Yet another transport strike
If you've any sense, just use a bike

Where do you go to my lovely ?
That takes me back to the summer of 1963
What., to the Boulevard Saint-Michel ?

Yet another transport strike
If you`ve any sense, just use a bike
It`ll definitely be quicker

Where do you go to my lovely ?
That takes me back to the summer of 1963
What, to the Boulevard Saint-Michel ?
Oh yes, I know it well
So do you want to go there with me ?


There`s a hole in my Wellie



Yet another transport strike
If you`ve any sense, just use a bike
It`ll definitely be quicker
`specially when traffic`s thicker
But it still might be better to hike


The money in football`s gone mad

There`s a hole in my wellie
Like that bloke I saw on the telly
Did his foot get wet too ?

The money in football`s gone mad
What`s happening makes me feel sad
Half a million a week ???

There`s a hole in my wellie
Like that bloke I saw on the telly
Did his foot get wet too ?
Only when it rained at the zoo

The money in football`s gone mad
What`s happening makes me feel sad
Half a million a week ???
Enough to make their bank creak

There`s a hole in my wellie
Like that bloke I saw on the telly
Did his foot get wet too ?
Only when it rained in the zoo
And it made his left foot rather smelly

Walked on the beach this morning

The money in football`s gone mad
What`s happening makes me feel sad
Half a million a week ?
Enough to make their bank creak
I knew I should have practiced more as a lad

I`ve bought a new pair of boots....see above

Walked on the beach this morning
T'was very early, so I was yawning
The cold made me shiver

I`ve bought a new pair of boots....see above
Expensive....so I'll treat them with love
Good thick soles and lined in fur

Walked on the beach this morning
T'was very early, so I was yawning
The cold made me shiver
I was all of a quiver
But was good to see the day dawning

Well the snow has gone away

I`ve bought a new pair of boots....see above
Expensive....so I'll treat them with love
Good thick soles and lined in fur
I'm sure they'll cause quite a stir
I feel like I am floating, just like a dove

Well Trump has been sworn in