That's the way it is

You may have heard one or even both of the following but they are worth the retelling



The Balloonist



A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.'



The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'



'You must be an Engineer,' said the balloonist.





'I am,' replied the man, 'how did you know?'





'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip by your talk.'





The man below responded, 'You must be in Management.'





'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'





'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my bloody fault.'

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A group of Americans came over to Scotland for the grouse shooting. Once upon the grouse moors they were allocated a dog to retrieve the birds. The dog performed flawlessly all day, fetching and carrying birds back to the guns without damage and depositing them at their feet.

As the day ended the Americans approached the keeper, full of praise for the dog.

"What a truly great dog" they said, "we've never seen one like him". What do you call him? "Salesman" the keeper replied. "You should be proud of him" said the Americans.



The following year they returned to the grouse moors. Meeting up with the same keeper they remembered the dog. "Say" said one American, "we like to use that dog we had the last time we were here". "What did you call him, 'Salesman' wasn't it"?



"I'm sorry” said the keeper, “you wouldn't like him now, he's not half the dog he was". "Why is that “said the American?

"He was so good" said the keeper "that we promoted him and called him 'Manager' ". "Now all he does is sit on his arse and bark all day.

Hahaha.

Classics.

Too right!